Hi everyone!!
It's been another month full of ups and downs. We are in the final stretches of my treatment and can't wait to reach the finish line. I've been focused on living a good life and enjoying it even with all of the side effects I am experiencing. I've turned into somewhat of a concert junkie over the past several weeks. It's the only thing that pushes the numbness out and allows me to feel.... something. I was able to go see Hey Rosetta at the Pyramid. What a great night and a great band! It was lots of fun and they are my new favorite band. A few weeks later, I got the chance to see the Weaker Thans at the West End Cultural centre. Had a great time! The West End Cultural centre is a really great place to check out live music. Then, for the big finale.... Sarah McLachlan at the MTS centre!! She's is absolutely amazing and has the voice of an angel. She put on a really great show and I left there feeling.... ALOT. Not only can she sing but she is doing her part to make the world a better place to live. It really puts things in perspective seeing what is happening in the world right now. Makes me even more grateful to have my family and friends close by and safe.
The boys have been winding down after a busy season of hockey and basketball. Gavin has decided to play hockey in the spring league so that will start up again next month. Tyler and Kaden are taking a break from sports for the spring/summer and I imagine will be practising their skills on the Playstation. We are all really looking forward to the warm weather and then a fun-filled summer!
You've heard me talk about an organization that I have gotten involved with called Young Adult Cancer Canada. I have had the opportunity to go to a retreat and a conference put on and funded by them and they were both life-changing. I really believe that every young adult should have the same opportunity whether it's attending an event like I did or just being able to be connected through their website. Being diagnosed with cancer as a young adult can be very isolating, confusing, scary and stressful. Being connected to a community like YACC can be very healing. This is why Jeff is doing the Shave for the Brave on Monday, March 21 to help raise funds to help get more young adults get through this and be able to start the healing process. You can go to shaveforthebrave.ca for more info and to make a pledge or register to do your own shave for the brave.
Wrong Way to Hope comes to Stonewall!! You know when you watch a really great movie and you want all your friends and family to see it. This is how I feel about this movie. I can't wait to share it with you all and will get the chance to do this on Monday, April, 11 right here in Stonewall. We are holding a special screening of this movie at the Lions Manor @ 7pm with special guests Mike and Bonnie Lang (the producer of this film). Tickets are $10 all with proceeds going towards helping young adults with cancer. To find out more you can go to wrongwaytohope.com. This film tour is making its way across Canada stopping in many cities along the way. We are very fortunate to get this opportunity and can't wait to see them again! Mike and Bonnie are doing amazing work in the world of cancer support and are opening their own retreat centre in Calgary very soon called Peacefield Retreat Centre. Very exciting!!
So this has been what we have been up to this month. I have had a nice break from scans and tests lately enjoying my time off. I have planned to spend a special day with each of my boys in the next couple of weeks. We don't get a whole lot of 1 on 1 time together these days so I am making a point of it and look forward to really connecting with each of the boys. I am a very lucky mom! I am not exactly sure what life will look like after cancer or if there is such a thing but I will keep striving for a good life - for myself, my husband, my beautiful boys, my family, my friends and see where life takes us next.
Be well!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I'm back!
Hi Everyone!
I know it's been awhile but I really havn't felt much like writing lately. I've been stuck in this funk and trying to lift myself out of it. I went in to see my doctor today and like I had already guessed these are all symptoms from the Interferon; fatigue, no energy, headaches.... This is probably going to be the hardest time for me on this treatment. We are getting down to the last three months and my body is wearing down. We have also been battling the flu nonstop at our house, passing it from one person to the next and then starting over again around and around. This obviously doesn't help matters. It's been hard looking after the kids when they are sick when I'm not feeling good myself. But we made it through and now everyone seems back on track and feeling better. Part of this yucky feeling is probably due to the fact that I am tired of this cancer crap. It really feels as though it has been neverending tests and scans and lots of waiting in between.
I found out last week that the thyroid nodule that I had biopsied is benign (not cancerous) and is called a colloid nodule. Apparently it is very common in women and they will be monitoring this every 6 months to make sure that there are no changes. If these nodules continue to grow and start causing problems he will want to go in and remove them but for now I can focus on getting the Interferon done and not worry it. I realized that my doctor is amazing. I never have to wait too long for results and they are very aware of how hard it is for the patient to wait. My thyroid doctor doesn't understand that. After waiting for over three weeks for my biopsy results, the nurse promised me a phone call on the Thursday and guess what? After waiting by the phone all day and getting myself convinced that something really bad was happening, the nurse phoned me back after I left several messages on his voicemail and finally let my know that it was fine - benign. Why do they do that? Why say ,"Oh, the doctor is going to want to talk to you himself about this." And then leave you hanging for five days. It takes less than 5 minutes to call and let me know. Anyway, very happy that my regular Oncologist is much more understanding and is on top of things. And even happier that the results were good.
I also went in for a brain MRI yesterday and when I went in to see my doctor this morning he shocked me by handing me my results. Wow! That was quick! Everything looks good. No changes and everything looks stable. I really should feel overjoyed but instead I almost broke down crying in the lab waiting room. Not sure if this was out of relief or what but I choked it back and did what I needed to get done. Sometimes the feelings I experience I can't even explain.
I had a great chat with my Oncologist and if everything keeps going well I will be able to return to work in the fall. He says that I am doing really well so far and so I need to carry on and continue living my life. We discussed all the new treatments now available for melanoma and he said that since we met a year ago even there has been alot more drugs come out. Granted these are experimental but he is very pumped that these are available and so am I. Hopefully I won't have a reoccurence and so I won't need them but it's good to know that they are there.
So for the next few weeks I am going to forcus on being well. I plan on going for lots of walks, eating healthy, and meditating regularly. I am going to finally use the gift card for the Spa that I received for Christmas and I'm even going to get my hair done next week. This should re-energize me and make me feel better. We are still planning a screening for the Wrong Way to Hope movie in April so stay tuned for more info on that. This should keep me busy and keep my mind off of things for at least some of the time.
Meanwhile, I hope everyone is feeling happy and healthy!
Don't forget to take care of YOU!!
I know it's been awhile but I really havn't felt much like writing lately. I've been stuck in this funk and trying to lift myself out of it. I went in to see my doctor today and like I had already guessed these are all symptoms from the Interferon; fatigue, no energy, headaches.... This is probably going to be the hardest time for me on this treatment. We are getting down to the last three months and my body is wearing down. We have also been battling the flu nonstop at our house, passing it from one person to the next and then starting over again around and around. This obviously doesn't help matters. It's been hard looking after the kids when they are sick when I'm not feeling good myself. But we made it through and now everyone seems back on track and feeling better. Part of this yucky feeling is probably due to the fact that I am tired of this cancer crap. It really feels as though it has been neverending tests and scans and lots of waiting in between.
I found out last week that the thyroid nodule that I had biopsied is benign (not cancerous) and is called a colloid nodule. Apparently it is very common in women and they will be monitoring this every 6 months to make sure that there are no changes. If these nodules continue to grow and start causing problems he will want to go in and remove them but for now I can focus on getting the Interferon done and not worry it. I realized that my doctor is amazing. I never have to wait too long for results and they are very aware of how hard it is for the patient to wait. My thyroid doctor doesn't understand that. After waiting for over three weeks for my biopsy results, the nurse promised me a phone call on the Thursday and guess what? After waiting by the phone all day and getting myself convinced that something really bad was happening, the nurse phoned me back after I left several messages on his voicemail and finally let my know that it was fine - benign. Why do they do that? Why say ,"Oh, the doctor is going to want to talk to you himself about this." And then leave you hanging for five days. It takes less than 5 minutes to call and let me know. Anyway, very happy that my regular Oncologist is much more understanding and is on top of things. And even happier that the results were good.
I also went in for a brain MRI yesterday and when I went in to see my doctor this morning he shocked me by handing me my results. Wow! That was quick! Everything looks good. No changes and everything looks stable. I really should feel overjoyed but instead I almost broke down crying in the lab waiting room. Not sure if this was out of relief or what but I choked it back and did what I needed to get done. Sometimes the feelings I experience I can't even explain.
I had a great chat with my Oncologist and if everything keeps going well I will be able to return to work in the fall. He says that I am doing really well so far and so I need to carry on and continue living my life. We discussed all the new treatments now available for melanoma and he said that since we met a year ago even there has been alot more drugs come out. Granted these are experimental but he is very pumped that these are available and so am I. Hopefully I won't have a reoccurence and so I won't need them but it's good to know that they are there.
So for the next few weeks I am going to forcus on being well. I plan on going for lots of walks, eating healthy, and meditating regularly. I am going to finally use the gift card for the Spa that I received for Christmas and I'm even going to get my hair done next week. This should re-energize me and make me feel better. We are still planning a screening for the Wrong Way to Hope movie in April so stay tuned for more info on that. This should keep me busy and keep my mind off of things for at least some of the time.
Meanwhile, I hope everyone is feeling happy and healthy!
Don't forget to take care of YOU!!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The Best News!!
It's Tuesday and usually my worst day on treatment and I feel fabulous!! I am so excited to write this blog this morning to let you all know that I had my thyroid biopsy yesterday and it went amazingly well! I was very nervous both about the procedure itself and the results. But seeing other people going in to the room and coming out with a bandaid on their neck and a smile on their face was very reasuring. My sister came with me and was actually allowed into the room with me during the procedure. The doctor doing it was great! She answered all of our questions and was very forthcoming with any information that we needed. She started with an ultrasound to check things out. There was more discussion and then we went ahead with the biopsy. Now, I am not going to lie and say this was a piece of cake. It really was painful. They did freeze the area first but you can imagine how tender the area of your neck is and what it feels like to have a needle in it. Ouch! I could feel myself sort of breathing slow and felt like I sort of went into myself. (if that makes any sense) I have learned that pain like this doesn't last forever and knowing this I can get through it. Once it was frozen the biopsies were a breeze.
This is what we found out from the biopsy. It is definitely not melanoma! Huge relief! I know the chances were very slim that it would have been but sometimes I find myself in the small majority of people and so know that this is possible. It is very doubtful that this is cancer of any kind since it shows no charecteristics of this. Obviously, we have to wait for the pathology report to come back to be certain but it looks like just a benign nodule! I can't even tell you how relieved this makes us! The thought of dealing with another type of cancer right now was very overwhelming and unimaginable. Now, like a friend of mine said yesterday, we can focus on kicking some melanoma ass!
Some more exciting news - I was interviewed by Girltalk with Marlo the other day and this show will air online Jan. 19th @ 8:30pm CT. Hopefully this will bring some awareness to Melanoma and young adults dealing with cancer. Marlo is starting a show with the topics focused on woman's issues. Definitely worth checking out! You can stream the interview live @ http://girltalkwithmarlo.com.
I can't thank you enough for all the prayers, good thoughts, positive energy... sent the last couple of days. It has been a rough couple of weeks with alot of ups and downs but knowing that I have so much love and support has gotten me through this. Thank you!
This is what we found out from the biopsy. It is definitely not melanoma! Huge relief! I know the chances were very slim that it would have been but sometimes I find myself in the small majority of people and so know that this is possible. It is very doubtful that this is cancer of any kind since it shows no charecteristics of this. Obviously, we have to wait for the pathology report to come back to be certain but it looks like just a benign nodule! I can't even tell you how relieved this makes us! The thought of dealing with another type of cancer right now was very overwhelming and unimaginable. Now, like a friend of mine said yesterday, we can focus on kicking some melanoma ass!
Some more exciting news - I was interviewed by Girltalk with Marlo the other day and this show will air online Jan. 19th @ 8:30pm CT. Hopefully this will bring some awareness to Melanoma and young adults dealing with cancer. Marlo is starting a show with the topics focused on woman's issues. Definitely worth checking out! You can stream the interview live @ http://girltalkwithmarlo.com.
I can't thank you enough for all the prayers, good thoughts, positive energy... sent the last couple of days. It has been a rough couple of weeks with alot of ups and downs but knowing that I have so much love and support has gotten me through this. Thank you!
Friday, January 14, 2011
1 down and 1 to go!
Just a quick update to share my results of the scan. Last week I went in for a chest, abdomen and pelvic scan to see how things are looking, especially in the lungs. Everything looks good. No signs of disease! No cancer! Wow! What a relief. I was pretty nervous about getting these results back because they were checking things so closely. Now I can focus on getting this biopsy of my thyroid done. I got the report back from the thyroid ultrasound and this shows about 6 nodules (lumps). They are ranging in size from 6-30 mm. Hard to believe these are all in my neck and I'm not having any symptoms. Just shows me once again how amazing our bodies are. We are really hoping that these are all benign (not cancer) and can be removed easily if necessary. We should get these results in the next couple of weeks.
Being on the Interferon has been giving me some trouble these days. I was having alot of nausea and some vomiting so am now on a drug to hopefully prevent this. So far it is working really well and I am feeling much better. The only downside is that this drug causes other side effects which I am dealing with. My skin has been very irritated and itching like crazy. (I actually scratched a mole off my back because of it) Oops! Apparently, this is because of the Interferon and hopefully we can get it under control. My face is all blotchy and so I've been trying all kinds of creams and lotions with no luck. My sister brought me over a new one last night so hopefully this one is it! Over half way done now!!!
Meanwhile, hocky....hockey....and more hockey. Sounds like we'll be at the rink pretty much all weekend. It will be good to get my mind off of things and watch the kids play. It is so worth it to push myself out of the house to watch a few games. Makes me feel somewhat normal. Go Stonewall Go!!!!
Being on the Interferon has been giving me some trouble these days. I was having alot of nausea and some vomiting so am now on a drug to hopefully prevent this. So far it is working really well and I am feeling much better. The only downside is that this drug causes other side effects which I am dealing with. My skin has been very irritated and itching like crazy. (I actually scratched a mole off my back because of it) Oops! Apparently, this is because of the Interferon and hopefully we can get it under control. My face is all blotchy and so I've been trying all kinds of creams and lotions with no luck. My sister brought me over a new one last night so hopefully this one is it! Over half way done now!!!
Meanwhile, hocky....hockey....and more hockey. Sounds like we'll be at the rink pretty much all weekend. It will be good to get my mind off of things and watch the kids play. It is so worth it to push myself out of the house to watch a few games. Makes me feel somewhat normal. Go Stonewall Go!!!!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Happy New Year!!!
Happy New Year to you all!
I hope everyone truly enjoyed the holidays and spending time with your loved ones. We had a very nice Christmas and yes I did find my Christmas Spirit in time. Part of this Christmas spirit comes with spending time with the ones we love. I realized over Christmas that this is what makes Christmas so special. We get to see our family and friends who we only spend time with on very special occasions. The kids were so excited and overjoyed Christmas morning. Everything was just what they always wanted - it didn't matter what it was!
A new year - a fresh start! I feel in ways like this new year marks a new beginning of this journey. We can scrap everything that we didn't like about last year and make new wishes for this one. The thought of this has re-energized me and I have done alot of thinking about how I want to handle what's coming up in this next year. Oh and by the way for the first time since I can remember this does not involve weight loss. My New Years resolution for years has always involved my weight. If I just lost those 10 or 15 pounds life would be everything that I always dreamed it would be - perfect. Why do we do this to ourselves? This past year has finally made me see that this idea is BS and so there is no weight loss resolution for me this year. I just want to be healthy and happy. Not too much to ask right?
The biggest thing I would love to happen this year is some sort of acceptance of things as they are. It is starting to sink in that this is now my life. Cancer will now forever be a part of it. I wish that I could say that once I'm finished the Interferon life can go back to normal but this is not realistic. I am forever changed. My life is now forever changed. They will always be looking, scanning, checking. I will always be waiting.... I will always believe that every result will be a good one but try to be ready in case it isn't. I've now come to the understanding that it is impossible to prepare yourself to hear that you have cancer....again. It never gets any easier, in fact, I think it just gets harder each time. When I reflect over this past year I see the healing that has already taken place in my life. Not just the physical healing (though that has been amazing to watch) but emotionally too. I can only hope that this continues through this next year.
So for now of course life is full of waiting. I have a scan scheduled for tomorrow (chest, abdomen and pelvis). I have my biopsy of the thyroid coming up on the 17th and we'll worry about the rest later. One step at a time... I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow (I know weird hey?) Jeff and I will have many hours to just be together while we wait for the dye to do its job and show that there are no tumours and I am disease free. This is how I am able to get through all these tests and scans is enjoying this time that I get with my family. I am so fortunate to never be alone and to have all the support. I NEVER take this for granted.
I hope everyone truly enjoyed the holidays and spending time with your loved ones. We had a very nice Christmas and yes I did find my Christmas Spirit in time. Part of this Christmas spirit comes with spending time with the ones we love. I realized over Christmas that this is what makes Christmas so special. We get to see our family and friends who we only spend time with on very special occasions. The kids were so excited and overjoyed Christmas morning. Everything was just what they always wanted - it didn't matter what it was!
A new year - a fresh start! I feel in ways like this new year marks a new beginning of this journey. We can scrap everything that we didn't like about last year and make new wishes for this one. The thought of this has re-energized me and I have done alot of thinking about how I want to handle what's coming up in this next year. Oh and by the way for the first time since I can remember this does not involve weight loss. My New Years resolution for years has always involved my weight. If I just lost those 10 or 15 pounds life would be everything that I always dreamed it would be - perfect. Why do we do this to ourselves? This past year has finally made me see that this idea is BS and so there is no weight loss resolution for me this year. I just want to be healthy and happy. Not too much to ask right?
The biggest thing I would love to happen this year is some sort of acceptance of things as they are. It is starting to sink in that this is now my life. Cancer will now forever be a part of it. I wish that I could say that once I'm finished the Interferon life can go back to normal but this is not realistic. I am forever changed. My life is now forever changed. They will always be looking, scanning, checking. I will always be waiting.... I will always believe that every result will be a good one but try to be ready in case it isn't. I've now come to the understanding that it is impossible to prepare yourself to hear that you have cancer....again. It never gets any easier, in fact, I think it just gets harder each time. When I reflect over this past year I see the healing that has already taken place in my life. Not just the physical healing (though that has been amazing to watch) but emotionally too. I can only hope that this continues through this next year.
So for now of course life is full of waiting. I have a scan scheduled for tomorrow (chest, abdomen and pelvis). I have my biopsy of the thyroid coming up on the 17th and we'll worry about the rest later. One step at a time... I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow (I know weird hey?) Jeff and I will have many hours to just be together while we wait for the dye to do its job and show that there are no tumours and I am disease free. This is how I am able to get through all these tests and scans is enjoying this time that I get with my family. I am so fortunate to never be alone and to have all the support. I NEVER take this for granted.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Merry Christmas!
I hope that everyone is ready for Christmas and can now kick back, put your feet up and enjoy the holidays! It sounds like it from some of your statuses on facebook. Then there are those of us who wait until these last few days to finish shopping, baking and wrapping. I will be making my way into the city tonight to finish up. It has been a very busy couple of days. I got a call on Friday from the ultrasound department to come in for the ultrasound on my thyroid that I have been waiting for. They got me in on Monday night which also happened to be the night that my Melanoma Support Group were getting together for our Christmas potluck. So after a quick stop at the hospital for this we headed to the party. The scan went very well and of course it was nice having both my sisters and my mom there. The ultrasound tech was very nice but I couldn't get anything out of her. And believe me I tried! For some reason I left feeling reassured even though she didn't really say anything.
It was so nice to see everyone at the Melanoma Group. We had a really nice visit and some homemade treats. Loved the apple crisp!! These people have really become good friends to us and very supportive. It was an awesome night! Next we were on our way to Chapters to do some last minute shopping. The line ups were crazy but we went through surpisingly quickly.
The next morning (yesterday) I got a call from the ultrasound department. They had reviewed my scans already and have scheduled me in for a biopsy in the new year. Actually on Jan. 17th I will be having this done. It honestly put me in a bit of a panic wondering if they saw something suspicious. After a couple of phone calls to both of my nurses I really didn't have much more information but felt better about things. There is some confusion as to what exactly they are biopsying. The "goiter"? A nodule by the "goiter"? I will be getting all of my questions answered before we go ahead with things. So really what it boils down to is that nothing has changed. I have something on my thyroid that they are not sure about so we need to find out what it is. I am very happy that things are moving as quickly as they are since initially I was told that it could be up to a six month wait for this biopsy. There are only two doctors in Manitoba that do this type of procedure. When I spoke to my nurse he made it very clear that they do NOT think that this is melanoma. So for now, there is nothing to do but wait. But I'm not very good at waiting so we carry on and have a fabulous Christmas!
I was reminded yesterday of a time in Benito at Christmas when the boys and I heard some bells ringing outside. As we looked out the front window we saw a horse drawn sleigh full of carolers (staff from the school) pull up. Out they all piled and sang for us. After the fantastic performance they all piled back in the sleigh and off they went down our street. Now that does not happen everyday! It was beautiful and I will never forget it!
I hope everyone enjoys their Christmas and takes time to feel the joy around us. I will be thanking God for another precious Christmas with my loved ones.
Merry Christmas!!!
It was so nice to see everyone at the Melanoma Group. We had a really nice visit and some homemade treats. Loved the apple crisp!! These people have really become good friends to us and very supportive. It was an awesome night! Next we were on our way to Chapters to do some last minute shopping. The line ups were crazy but we went through surpisingly quickly.
The next morning (yesterday) I got a call from the ultrasound department. They had reviewed my scans already and have scheduled me in for a biopsy in the new year. Actually on Jan. 17th I will be having this done. It honestly put me in a bit of a panic wondering if they saw something suspicious. After a couple of phone calls to both of my nurses I really didn't have much more information but felt better about things. There is some confusion as to what exactly they are biopsying. The "goiter"? A nodule by the "goiter"? I will be getting all of my questions answered before we go ahead with things. So really what it boils down to is that nothing has changed. I have something on my thyroid that they are not sure about so we need to find out what it is. I am very happy that things are moving as quickly as they are since initially I was told that it could be up to a six month wait for this biopsy. There are only two doctors in Manitoba that do this type of procedure. When I spoke to my nurse he made it very clear that they do NOT think that this is melanoma. So for now, there is nothing to do but wait. But I'm not very good at waiting so we carry on and have a fabulous Christmas!
I was reminded yesterday of a time in Benito at Christmas when the boys and I heard some bells ringing outside. As we looked out the front window we saw a horse drawn sleigh full of carolers (staff from the school) pull up. Out they all piled and sang for us. After the fantastic performance they all piled back in the sleigh and off they went down our street. Now that does not happen everyday! It was beautiful and I will never forget it!
I hope everyone enjoys their Christmas and takes time to feel the joy around us. I will be thanking God for another precious Christmas with my loved ones.
Merry Christmas!!!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Holiday Spirit!
I hope that everyone is getting into the holiday spirit! I find myself really trying this year to feel the joy of the holidays. For some reason it is not coming easily for me this year. On Monday I took the two younger boys to see the Air Command Band play at the Legion and they were fantastic! Feeling a little more in the mood after that. Last year during the holidays I was feeling so much. Grateful for life, family, friends, love. I really felt like something magical was happening around me. This year I am struggling with this. Is it because of the drug I am on? Is it that the shock of my diagnosis over the past year has been finally sinking in? I did get the results of my brain MRI last week which were great! No changes on my scan which is what we always hope for. This is fabulous news right? I should feel relief, happy.... I think I would feel all of these things if on the very same day as I was receiving this great news over the phone I wasn't literally waiting in another specialists office. As I hung up my phone with the Gamma Knife nurse, the oncologist specializing in head and neck cancers came in to see me. I was there for a follow up appointment for the goiter that I have on my thryoid. Apparently, there is a nodule on my thyroid apart from the goiter that he wants to biopsy.
What could this nodule be I ask him. Well, it could be melanoma though very unlikely. Melanoma usually does not spread to the thyroid, although it does happen. It could be a benign lesion (meaning no big deal). Let's hope for that! Or it could be another cancer - thyroid cancer. Another totally different type of cancer which is treated with surgery and radiation. He reassures me that even if it is a primary thryoid cancer it is very treatable. No worries - nothing to lose sleep over. He tells me I have enough going on right now and we'll do the biopsy to find out what this is but my focus right now should be on finishing the Interferon. Really? You are telling me that I may have another type of cancer and may need a whole other treatment regime but I shouldn't worry about it?
So now we wait.... Again. I keep reminding myself that chances are it is nothing. But being told already 3 times that I have cancer I do know that the possibility is there. I just hope that they get me in for this biopsy soon so I can really relax and make room in my heart for that magical feeling of Christmas.
I hope that one day it will happen when I can get wonderful news and just leave it at that. No buts, no ands, no maybes... For now I will focus on all the wonderful things happening in my life starting with having no evidence of disease. My three boys who are waiting in excited anticipation for Santa to come to our house. My husband who is riding this crazy rollar coaster ride with me and holding my hand the whole time. My family who no matter how difficult things get are always there and are full of love and hope. My friends, new and old who are always there to make me smile and take my mind off of all things cancer related. I really could go on and on.... This is making me feel better already! Why live in a world of what-if's? If I do that then I miss out on all the wonderful things that are acually happening in my world at that very moment. May we all find that peace and joy that the holidays can bring us.
What could this nodule be I ask him. Well, it could be melanoma though very unlikely. Melanoma usually does not spread to the thyroid, although it does happen. It could be a benign lesion (meaning no big deal). Let's hope for that! Or it could be another cancer - thyroid cancer. Another totally different type of cancer which is treated with surgery and radiation. He reassures me that even if it is a primary thryoid cancer it is very treatable. No worries - nothing to lose sleep over. He tells me I have enough going on right now and we'll do the biopsy to find out what this is but my focus right now should be on finishing the Interferon. Really? You are telling me that I may have another type of cancer and may need a whole other treatment regime but I shouldn't worry about it?
So now we wait.... Again. I keep reminding myself that chances are it is nothing. But being told already 3 times that I have cancer I do know that the possibility is there. I just hope that they get me in for this biopsy soon so I can really relax and make room in my heart for that magical feeling of Christmas.
I hope that one day it will happen when I can get wonderful news and just leave it at that. No buts, no ands, no maybes... For now I will focus on all the wonderful things happening in my life starting with having no evidence of disease. My three boys who are waiting in excited anticipation for Santa to come to our house. My husband who is riding this crazy rollar coaster ride with me and holding my hand the whole time. My family who no matter how difficult things get are always there and are full of love and hope. My friends, new and old who are always there to make me smile and take my mind off of all things cancer related. I really could go on and on.... This is making me feel better already! Why live in a world of what-if's? If I do that then I miss out on all the wonderful things that are acually happening in my world at that very moment. May we all find that peace and joy that the holidays can bring us.
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