Happiness

Hello Everyone!!

Well, as you have probably read on my facebook status I am getting ready for the Bon Jovi concert tomorrow night. I am super excited about having a great night out with friends. I initially thought that I would be too sick to do something like go to a concert so I turned down the offer. I believed the doctors when they told me I would be extremely ill and unable to carry on with my normal life. For a few moments anyway, and then I said "Screw that!" It has been a stroke of luck that I have been feeling well enough to still do things and enjoy my life. We went out to Bird's Hill last week with the family to celebrate my mom's birthday. Happy birthday Mom! We had an amazing day at the beach and I actually caught a nap (in the shade of course). The kids had a great time swimming with their cousins and we spent the night with my sister there. After another great day at the beach the following day we packed up and headed back home. What an amazing couple of days!!

Jeff and I had an amazing dinner at Rae and Jerry's for our anniversary. Thank you for all the anniversary wishes! We had an amazing dinner which reminded me of our many family dinners that my parents used to make for us as kids. Dad would make escargot or shrimp cocktail for an appetizer. We'd have steaks, potatoes, veggies and for dessert ice cream smothered with creme de minte (which they also serve at Rae and Jerry's for dessert) Going to that restaurant was like stepping back in time. Very cool! After dinner we went to see Eclipse at Silver City. OK I'll admit that I loved every minute of it but not as much as some of the woman sitting in the audience. You could hear everyone sighing dreamily everytime Jacob appeared on the screen. Jeff thought that this was pretty hilarious. I personally fell for Carlisle. Since when did I start falling for the Dad in the movies and not the star. Yikes I must be getting old! Anyway, Carlisle is very hot and I could probably get over the fact that he is a vampire! More seriously, we had a great date night and will have many more in the future!!

Yesterday was a long day for me spending most of it at the hospital. It went very well though - only good news which I love! I went and saw my thoracic surgeon for a follow up visit - 6 weeks since I had surgery. Seems way longer than that to me. Everything looks great! I have healed up and from the x-ray he said you can hardly tell that I've had surgery. That's good news! I got to catch up with some of the girls I used to work there with and my brother-in-law. Great seeing everyone again! We had some time to kill before my MRI in the afternoon so we went downtown to check out the Fringe. There wasn't too much happening (mostly kids entertainment) so we wandered into a haberdachery. Not sure if I spelled that properly but it's a hat store! You probably already know this about me but I LOVE Hats!! I've written a previous blog about it. We had so much fun trying on almost every hat in the store peeing our pants laughing at the outrageous ones. What a fun afternoon!

OK back to reality - we headed over to the hospital for my MRI. This was my brain MRI which I will be having every three months forever to keep tabs on my brain situation. Things went well and I breathed a huge sigh of relief when the technician said I could leave. I still love hearing those words. This MRI takes about 25 minutes where you lie in the machine and it beeps, bangs, clanks and rings taking pictures of the inside of your brain. A type of dye is injected through your IV part way through the scan. Very cool actually that this technology exists. I will get my results back next week hopefully when I see my oncologist. Keeping my fingers crossed and praying that we get good news.

I feel that I am in a much better place compared to a few weeks ago. I have my melanoma support group friends to thank for this. I almost didn't go to the last meeting because I wasn't in a very good place and didn't want to spread my negativity. I went anyway thinking I would just not say anything and I came away from the meeting feeling much better than I had going in. To feel that others understand and are going through the same thing as you is very powerful. Talking to them made me feel that I can carry on with my treatments and that everything I am feeling - so are they. It's really great to have this support.

I know that I've said this before but I feel so very fortunate to have all of you around me cheering for me. When I'm having a bad day I just have to look back through my emails and all of your comments to bring my spirits back up. To feel loved is my cure...
Thank you!

Courage

Well, I'm into my second week back on the Interferon and am doing pretty good. I was pretty sick last week so am glad that my body is adjusting. The fatigue is starting to set in though and I wake up tired every morning. It will take me some time to get used to this again. I have been mostly hanging out with the boys by the pool the last week or so. The weather has been great and it keeps them entertained so they are not driving me too crazy!! I have to admit that having three boys at home while I'm on chemo is very challenging. I'm just glad that they are all pretty self sufficient. No diapers to change and no bottles to make. I can't imagine if this was happening a few years ago! If only they didn't fight with each other! Boys....!

Jeff and I are celebrating our 10 year anniversary tomorrow! Wow! I can't believe 10 years has gone by! We have been through a lot together and each hurdle has brought us closer together. This latest challenge - dealing with my cancer diagnosis - has shown us that we can make it through anything together. I know how difficult this has been for Jeff, always wanting to make this right and having no power to. It has been a crazy couple of years for us so we will definitely be celebrating this occasion!!

I was thinking the other day about my friends that I recently met at the retreat. I think about them all the time but as I pictured the circle of people that quickly became like family to me I was thinking about how much courage it takes to be a cancer survivor. What would you trade to live? I'm sure that if you put together all of the pieces of ourselves that we have had to give up because of this disease we could make an entire human being. Many still suffer the effects of chemotherapy or radiation treatments. The scars..... When you are faced with losing your life I think you would trade anything for more time on this earth. The courage and bravery of these survivors amazes me! What would you be willing to trade for your life?