Thursday, March 31, 2011

One Dream - Sarah McLachlan : Lyrics & HQ!

Hope

I hope everyone is enjoying the beautiful weather that we have been having. I'm missing the sunshine today but at least we have a lot less snow around. I went in and saw my oncologist yesterday and got the go ahead to continue on with my treatment. Can't beleive that we're down to 6 weeks now!! I have completed 42 of the 48 weeks in phase 2 of this treatment so far!! So my big question to him yesterday was - then what? Basically, I will be getting very closely monitored with visits back to him every 3 months and my scans every 3-4 months. Next month in May I will be going for another ultrasound on my thyroid and will see that surgeon again to see if anything has changed there. I will also be followed up annually by my Dermatologist to watch for any new spots on my skin. I feel myself already transitioning (slowly) into life after cancer. It is a very strange thing to go from just wanting one more Christmas with my family in 2009 to now wanting and being hopeful that I will have 50 with them. Right now we hope that the Interferon did its job and that I will have many, many years cancer-free.

Hope - such a powerful word when you sometimes struggle to find it. Hope is my best friend. It's what gets me through most days. She isn't always there for me but somehow I end up finding my way back to her. When you are diagnosed with a disease that is known to be "fatal", "deadly", "leaves no survivors" you hang on to hope and try not to let her go.

I am feeling a bit torn between being overjoyed that I am almost done with the treatment and fearful that this leaves me open and vulnerable to melanoma again. My immune system has been working double time fighting against this. What happens when that wears off? This is when I work hard at boosting my own immune system which is what I will be focusing on once I'm done the Interferon.

I am also focused on raising awareness of the support and services that are out there for people with cancer. Before I had cancer, I just assumed that when you were diagnosed these supports and services were handed to you for you to choose what you needed or wanted. Little did I know that you acually have to search these services out on your own which can be very overwhelming and exhausting when you have just found out that you have cancer. Did you know that free parking is available at cancer care for evening chemotherapy sessions? No one tells you this and we all know how expensive parking can be down town. Free housecleaning services for those in treatment? Wigs and skin care classes? It is not easy to navigate yourself through the system, especially when you are not well. This needs to change.

My husband is alot less hairy these days after participating in the Shave for the Brave! He raised over $700 for YACC! We want to send a huge thank you out to everyone for their support! A special thank you to Korner Kuts! This will make a difference in someone's life.

We have been busy getting things ready for the screening here in Stonewall on April 11th of "Wrong Way to Hope". Looking forward to an inspiring evening full of hope! Tickets are available at www.WrongWaytoHope.com and will also be available at the door by donation. These screenings are being held all across Canada and you can check out the Wrong Way to Hope website for all the locations and dates. One will also be held in Winnipeg on April 12 at Cancer Care. It really is an amazing movie and since most of us have been touched by cancer in one way or another really is a movie everyone must see.

Like all of you, I struggle sometimes to find balance in my life. Cancer has really taken over a huge part of my life so therefore the life of my family. I sometimes have to force it from my mind and concentrate on other things which can be hard. I had a really great day last week with Tyler (my oldest). We went to see Red Riding Hood and then Dairy Queen for a treat. Great movie!! Gavin and I went to check out the Titanic exhibit in Winnipeg. It was awesome and very fitting since he has been infactuated with the Titanic since he was really little. Kaden's day is coming up and he's chosen to go play glow in the dark mini golf. Having one on one time with each of the boys has been so special for me and for them. It really connects us in a way that is hard to do during the rushes of everyday life. They are changing and growing up so quickly!! Jeff & I are also making plans for an evening out together soon.

I guess in a way I'm trying to make up for lost time. I havn't had the energy to be the wife and mother that my boys deserve. Hopefully, when this treatment comes to an end my body and spirit will bounce back so that I can give everyone what the need again. One thing that has never faltered is how much I love them - all 4 of them!!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Sarah McLachlan - World on Fire

Music is healing

Hi everyone!!

It's been another month full of ups and downs. We are in the final stretches of my treatment and can't wait to reach the finish line. I've been focused on living a good life and enjoying it even with all of the side effects I am experiencing. I've turned into somewhat of a concert junkie over the past several weeks. It's the only thing that pushes the numbness out and allows me to feel.... something. I was able to go see Hey Rosetta at the Pyramid. What a great night and a great band! It was lots of fun and they are my new favorite band. A few weeks later, I got the chance to see the Weaker Thans at the West End Cultural centre. Had a great time! The West End Cultural centre is a really great place to check out live music. Then, for the big finale.... Sarah McLachlan at the MTS centre!! She's is absolutely amazing and has the voice of an angel. She put on a really great show and I left there feeling.... ALOT. Not only can she sing but she is doing her part to make the world a better place to live. It really puts things in perspective seeing what is happening in the world right now. Makes me even more grateful to have my family and friends close by and safe.

The boys have been winding down after a busy season of hockey and basketball. Gavin has decided to play hockey in the spring league so that will start up again next month. Tyler and Kaden are taking a break from sports for the spring/summer and I imagine will be practising their skills on the Playstation. We are all really looking forward to the warm weather and then a fun-filled summer!

You've heard me talk about an organization that I have gotten involved with called Young Adult Cancer Canada. I have had the opportunity to go to a retreat and a conference put on and funded by them and they were both life-changing. I really believe that every young adult should have the same opportunity whether it's attending an event like I did or just being able to be connected through their website. Being diagnosed with cancer as a young adult can be very isolating, confusing, scary and stressful. Being connected to a community like YACC can be very healing. This is why Jeff is doing the Shave for the Brave on Monday, March 21 to help raise funds to help get more young adults get through this and be able to start the healing process. You can go to shaveforthebrave.ca for more info and to make a pledge or register to do your own shave for the brave.

Wrong Way to Hope comes to Stonewall!! You know when you watch a really great movie and you want all your friends and family to see it. This is how I feel about this movie. I can't wait to share it with you all and will get the chance to do this on Monday, April, 11 right here in Stonewall. We are holding a special screening of this movie at the Lions Manor @ 7pm with special guests Mike and Bonnie Lang (the producer of this film). Tickets are $10 all with proceeds going towards helping young adults with cancer. To find out more you can go to wrongwaytohope.com. This film tour is making its way across Canada stopping in many cities along the way. We are very fortunate to get this opportunity and can't wait to see them again! Mike and Bonnie are doing amazing work in the world of cancer support and are opening their own retreat centre in Calgary very soon called Peacefield Retreat Centre. Very exciting!!

So this has been what we have been up to this month. I have had a nice break from scans and tests lately enjoying my time off. I have planned to spend a special day with each of my boys in the next couple of weeks. We don't get a whole lot of 1 on 1 time together these days so I am making a point of it and look forward to really connecting with each of the boys. I am a very lucky mom! I am not exactly sure what life will look like after cancer or if there is such a thing but I will keep striving for a good life - for myself, my husband, my beautiful boys, my family, my friends and see where life takes us next.

Be well!