Hope

I hope everyone is enjoying the beautiful weather that we have been having. I'm missing the sunshine today but at least we have a lot less snow around. I went in and saw my oncologist yesterday and got the go ahead to continue on with my treatment. Can't beleive that we're down to 6 weeks now!! I have completed 42 of the 48 weeks in phase 2 of this treatment so far!! So my big question to him yesterday was - then what? Basically, I will be getting very closely monitored with visits back to him every 3 months and my scans every 3-4 months. Next month in May I will be going for another ultrasound on my thyroid and will see that surgeon again to see if anything has changed there. I will also be followed up annually by my Dermatologist to watch for any new spots on my skin. I feel myself already transitioning (slowly) into life after cancer. It is a very strange thing to go from just wanting one more Christmas with my family in 2009 to now wanting and being hopeful that I will have 50 with them. Right now we hope that the Interferon did its job and that I will have many, many years cancer-free.

Hope - such a powerful word when you sometimes struggle to find it. Hope is my best friend. It's what gets me through most days. She isn't always there for me but somehow I end up finding my way back to her. When you are diagnosed with a disease that is known to be "fatal", "deadly", "leaves no survivors" you hang on to hope and try not to let her go.

I am feeling a bit torn between being overjoyed that I am almost done with the treatment and fearful that this leaves me open and vulnerable to melanoma again. My immune system has been working double time fighting against this. What happens when that wears off? This is when I work hard at boosting my own immune system which is what I will be focusing on once I'm done the Interferon.

I am also focused on raising awareness of the support and services that are out there for people with cancer. Before I had cancer, I just assumed that when you were diagnosed these supports and services were handed to you for you to choose what you needed or wanted. Little did I know that you acually have to search these services out on your own which can be very overwhelming and exhausting when you have just found out that you have cancer. Did you know that free parking is available at cancer care for evening chemotherapy sessions? No one tells you this and we all know how expensive parking can be down town. Free housecleaning services for those in treatment? Wigs and skin care classes? It is not easy to navigate yourself through the system, especially when you are not well. This needs to change.

My husband is alot less hairy these days after participating in the Shave for the Brave! He raised over $700 for YACC! We want to send a huge thank you out to everyone for their support! A special thank you to Korner Kuts! This will make a difference in someone's life.

We have been busy getting things ready for the screening here in Stonewall on April 11th of "Wrong Way to Hope". Looking forward to an inspiring evening full of hope! Tickets are available at www.WrongWaytoHope.com and will also be available at the door by donation. These screenings are being held all across Canada and you can check out the Wrong Way to Hope website for all the locations and dates. One will also be held in Winnipeg on April 12 at Cancer Care. It really is an amazing movie and since most of us have been touched by cancer in one way or another really is a movie everyone must see.

Like all of you, I struggle sometimes to find balance in my life. Cancer has really taken over a huge part of my life so therefore the life of my family. I sometimes have to force it from my mind and concentrate on other things which can be hard. I had a really great day last week with Tyler (my oldest). We went to see Red Riding Hood and then Dairy Queen for a treat. Great movie!! Gavin and I went to check out the Titanic exhibit in Winnipeg. It was awesome and very fitting since he has been infactuated with the Titanic since he was really little. Kaden's day is coming up and he's chosen to go play glow in the dark mini golf. Having one on one time with each of the boys has been so special for me and for them. It really connects us in a way that is hard to do during the rushes of everyday life. They are changing and growing up so quickly!! Jeff & I are also making plans for an evening out together soon.

I guess in a way I'm trying to make up for lost time. I havn't had the energy to be the wife and mother that my boys deserve. Hopefully, when this treatment comes to an end my body and spirit will bounce back so that I can give everyone what the need again. One thing that has never faltered is how much I love them - all 4 of them!!