Stupid Cancer

How quickly things can change....

Last weekend Jeff & I took the boys to Minniapolis and had a really great time. We celebrated my birthday by going out for a nice dinner and the following day going to the waterpark. I started back to work the following day and had an awesome first day back. Got re-accquianted with everyone and got settled into my new office. I must say that on the drive there I felt so full of gratitude. I was so happy to be able to finally get back to work and be somewhat normal again. And the fact that I was returning to work meant that I was well and heatlhy again, right?? Alot of people dread going to work and I just felt like it was the best thing that could be happening. I must say that being back there was a little weird in a way because alot of things reminded me of when I was sick. I found a paper where I was keeping track of all my headaches and how I was feeling on a daily basis; trying to figure out what the headaches were from and how much Tylenol I was taking. Sort of brought everything that had happened back. Everyone there was so friendly and happy to see me back and well again.

Wednesday morning was my scheduled appointment with my Oncologist where I would be getting back all of my test results from the previous scans. I really am feeling great and wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary. The resident came in and let us know that something was found on my chest scan - a tumour in the right middle lobe of my lung. It's a bit larger than the one I had removed last year and that one was in my right lower lobe. It is still quite small, 6 x 8 mm, but we need to jump on it ASAP. I am being sent for a PET scan in two weeks to see if there are any more hot spots which would mean that there is more than one tumour there. We are really hoping and praying that this is the only one and that they will be able to operate to remove it. If it is inoperable then I will be offered chemotherapy. I have to say that having a few really good friends in the waiting room was really nice. A few people that I have met through the Melanoma Support Group were waiting for their appointments so I got lots of hugs and comfort from them. It was really nice for both me and my mom.

So, we go from being excited and happy to being disappointed and worried over night. I am focusing right now on how I feel. I feel great! No chest pain, no shortness of breathe, no cough. I don't really understand how this can be and am anxious to find out more about what is going to happen. The really great news was that my brain MRI was stable - nothing new there popping up. This was a full body scan and this was the only spot that was found so I am grateful for that.

I do feel angry and disappointed that all of my planning and preparation has blown up in my face but I am still trying to figure out how to at least finish my back to work program before I have treatment. I feel a little betrayed by my body leading me to believe that I am gaining my health back and then snatching it back from me. Really though what can I do? We are all obviously very upset with this latest news but remain very hopeful that this will be easily treated. I remind myself that the tumour in my brain was much larger than this one and I got through that so this should be a walk in the park compared to that. Plus I've already had a chest surgery and it went very well.

I have registered and am so looking forward to attending another YACC conference which is in Ottawa in November. Hopefully things will fall into place and allow me to attend. Every event that I have been to through YACC has been amazing and very life changing. I honestly don't know what I would do without being a part of this and being able to connect with such wonderful people. If you or someone you know is a young adult (age 18 - 35ish) and dealing with a cancer dianosis this is an organization that you or they will want to connect with. Check out the website at www.youngadultcancer.ca and register for the conference. There is also a group of young adults which gets together at CancerCare in Winnipeg every month and they have been a huge support. I love going and catching up with everyone. They totally get it!

So, for the next two weeks I will just keep going and enjoying life while waiting to see what will happen. I actually scheduled a manicure/pedicure at the spa next week to finally use the gift certificate that's been sitting on my dresser for months and months.

Be well and live life to its fullest!!