Now Jeff and I had to decide how we were going to talk to the boys and what exactly we were going to tell them. We decided to tell them individually so that they could ask whatever questions they needed to without their brothers around. First we talked to Kaden. When we explained that I was going to be in the hospital for 3 days Kaden's eyes lit up with excitment! "We are getting a new baby brother!!" He was so excited!!! I had to explain that no we weren't having a new baby but that the doctor was going to make mommy's headaches go away. "Oh" He was quite let down but gave me a hug and said "I hope you feel better". He is so sweet! Tyler and Gavin were both relieved to hear that I wouldn't be having headaches anymore but they both worried about their mom having surgery. We decided not to bring up the C***** word to them yet. Afterall it might be benign right??
I was scheduled for surgery on the 15th of December - six days after I was diagnosed. During that week I was busy getting ready. Good thing Jeff had finished all of our Christmas shopping and decorating our house. I wasn't into it this year because I had been feeling so unwell. He even had all the presents wrapped and under the tree. Good thing! I had many appointments to go to during this week. I had a brain MRI, x-ray, blood work and I met with the anesthesia doc. Everything looked good. Sitting in the MRI waiting room I remembered I hadn't filled out my donor card yet. One more thing I couldn't put off anymore so I pulled it out and filled in the boxes. I kept myself busy this week getting my house ready for Christmas. I even thought about cleaning out my closet but never did. What if something happens to me? Who will get stuck cleaning out my junk? These are the things that I thought about this week. Will I get to see the boys open all their presents Christmas morning? I went out and bought them the G.I. Joe box set of movies and gave them an early present (just in case).
I pleaded with God alot this week begging him to give more time. My boys need their mom around. I need to watch them grow up! As the surgery date came closer instead of becoming more anxious I actually had this amazing calmness come over me. Everything was going to be alright, I just new it had to be. We would pray for a Christmas miracle!
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Natalie, I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I think of you often. I saw Lana yesterday at the skating carnival and Jeff's mom was with her. His mom explained to me what was happening. This is unbelievable. I had seen tidbits here and there on Facebook but did not know exactly what was wrong. Take care and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteLori