Love

Wow! Where do I start? Last time I was on here I was getting ready for the Retreat in Vancouver. Well, I had an absolutely amazing time! I met the most courageous, compassionate, caring people there. There is something about being with a roomful of people who are going through the same thing as you. It somehow made me feel normal for the first time in a very long time. Talking about their experiences and how they deal with them really helped me learn how to deal with mine. It's like we became a family over the 4 days and I will hold each person I met in my heart forever. We had a lot of fun but also worked through some very difficult issues that each of us are faced with. We all shed a lot of tears and laughed until we cried some more and I came home feeling like a whole person again. If you ever have the chance to go on a retreat I encourage you to go for it. It was an awesome experience! Thanks YACC!!!!!! You can check out their website at www.youngadultcancer.ca

In my life, whenever something good happens it's usually followed by something difficult. While I was away Jeff decided to take the kids up to visit his family and see his grandfather who has been very ill. Grandpa passed away peacefully before Jeff could get up to the hospital to see him but he was surrounded with love from all the family. We were unable to make it up for his funeral because I was in surgery the same day but our love and thoughts were with them. We love you Grandapa!

Some more bad news as we arrived home... My sister's (who came with me on the retreat)dog died while we were away. Sanibel has been a part of this family for many, many years and a few months ago we found out that she too had cancer. Christine had this strange feeling that something had happened to her and that was the first thing she asked Jeff at the airport. We will miss Sanibel.

Ok, so now I had the evening to pack and get ready for admission to the hospital. I was admitted the next morning at 8:30 so really didn't have a chance to get worried or anxious about things. It all happened so quickly. I went up to the day surgery area and right after getting changed, the O.R. was already calling up for me. They were ready for me over an hour before I was supposed to go in. They quickly got me prepped and away I went. Hugs and kisses from Jeff and my mom and then I was getting my lines put in. (IV and arterial line) Christine and Laura were on their way up to see me before I went in but because of the schedule change I missed them. I recognized my nurse right away - she was the same one I had when I was in for brain surgery. This made me feel at ease right away. The doctor and anethetist came in to see me and explain what would be happening and after checking with me numerous times that we were operating on the right side I was pushed into the O.R. They even marked my right side with an (R) to made sure they got the right one. The last thing I remember was being introduced to all the staff who would be working on me and then I was out.

I woke up in the recovery room and was completely out of it. I don't remember much of what happened in there but I do remember Jeff and my mom coming in to see me. The lady at the desk was not going to allow it but after talking to my mom and Jeff decided to give them a few minutes with me. The next day or so I was in and out of it. Because I couldn't have an epidural for pain they were giving me some other drugs which made me very dozy. My family has some pretty hilarious stories about me trying to put on lip gloss and falling asleep; getting out of bed very adament about doing things for myself. That doesn't sound like me at all does it?! haha!! The following day after surgery they were able to pull out all my tubes and lines. I have never been hooked up to so many in my life. Getting the chest tube out was a huge relief and I felt much better after that was gone. My sisters took turns spending the night with me in the hospital which ended up being perfect as I was in for two nights. They were so wonderful looking after me and making sure I was comfortable. So after two nights and getting my pain under control the doctor said that I could go home. Thanks to the physiotherapist I had I was able to move around independently and I was determined to get back on my feet. I was so happy to be home and the boys were so happy to see that their mom is doing OK. It's so nice to have this overwith and now just take time to recover before I think about what comes next. We basically wait for the pathology to come back before deciding if I go back on the Interferon again or not. The pathology report could take up to 6 weeks to come back so I really have nothing to do in the meantime but get my strength back. I will keep you all posted....

Thank you to all of you for your prayers, thoughts and well wishes. It gives me the strength to keep fighting!!