Well, I leave to go to the retreat tomorrow. So looking forward to it! One of my sisters was able to come with me as there was a last minute cancellation so it should be lots of fun! I spent most of this week at the hospital getting all my pre-op tests and stuff done. The pulmonary function tests (breathing tests) weren't much fun but I made it through. I met with the anesthetist guy and everything looks good. The only concern is the fact that I can not have an epidural which they normally do to help with the post operative pain. Because I still have some swelling of the brain and residual tumour (which they think is inactive) it makes things a little more complicated. That being said they will be giving me some extra freezing and I'll just have to make sure they are giving me enough pain meds. To think that I was hesitant to take any kind of medications not too long ago is a little bizarre. Now whatever they can give me to make me feel normal - I'll take it!
I recently learned a new phrase which has really helped me and will help me along the way. ***realistically hopeful*** This is something that I will really strive to be. Forget all the melanoma horror stories I've heard and all the horrible statistics of this disease. Do I dare hope for a future for myself? I have to. I don't want to live any other way. So although we are realistic about what this disease can do, we are also very hopeful that my case will be different and we hope for a cure!
So, the next time you hear from me will probably be sometime after surgery so in the meantime love life, dream big and believe in miracles!
And don't forget to slather on the sunscreen!!