One more sleep!!

Well, I leave to go to the retreat tomorrow. So looking forward to it! One of my sisters was able to come with me as there was a last minute cancellation so it should be lots of fun! I spent most of this week at the hospital getting all my pre-op tests and stuff done. The pulmonary function tests (breathing tests) weren't much fun but I made it through. I met with the anesthetist guy and everything looks good. The only concern is the fact that I can not have an epidural which they normally do to help with the post operative pain. Because I still have some swelling of the brain and residual tumour (which they think is inactive) it makes things a little more complicated. That being said they will be giving me some extra freezing and I'll just have to make sure they are giving me enough pain meds. To think that I was hesitant to take any kind of medications not too long ago is a little bizarre. Now whatever they can give me to make me feel normal - I'll take it!

I recently learned a new phrase which has really helped me and will help me along the way. ***realistically hopeful*** This is something that I will really strive to be. Forget all the melanoma horror stories I've heard and all the horrible statistics of this disease. Do I dare hope for a future for myself? I have to. I don't want to live any other way. So although we are realistic about what this disease can do, we are also very hopeful that my case will be different and we hope for a cure!

So, the next time you hear from me will probably be sometime after surgery so in the meantime love life, dream big and believe in miracles!

And don't forget to slather on the sunscreen!!

Summertime!

Well, I hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful weather we have been having. I got my surgery scheduled as soon as I get back from the retreat in Vancouver. I'm pretty happy about being able to still go. A little nervous about having to go through another surgery but my surgeon is the best so that puts my mind at ease a little. Unfortunately, this is going to be an open surgery as they can't do it endoscopically (through a small incision with a camera) as we were hoping. The nodule is too small for him to get at this way - which is a good thing. I'm anxious to have this thing out and find out if it's cancer or NOT.

We have had to stop the treatments I was on to prepare my body for surgery. This is very disappointing and very difficult for me. I want to be doing everything I can to fight this thing. Hopefully I will be able to restart the treatments after I've recovered. I can just be thankful that I am able to have surgery to remove this.

I am really looking forward to the summer at home with the kids. They are so anxious for school to be out. It will be so nice to have all this time to spend with them. Hope everyone takes the time to enjoy this beautiful sunshine but make sure you cover up!

Retreat here I come!!

I had a great Mother's Day! We had everyone over to our place and I didn't even have to cook. They all brought supper which was awesome. The kids made me breakfast and even did all the dishes afterwards. The two older ones were fooling around in the kitchen doing the dishes and it brought back so many memories of when I was little. These moments with my boys just seem to matter so much more these days. Why can't everyday be Mother's Day?

I got some exciting news yesterday! I am on my way to a retreat at the end of the month for cancer survivors. I have been thinking about going to this retreat for a few months but wasn't sure how I would be feeling or if I would be able to go. Well, my plane ticket is bought and I am off! Jeff has been on this retreat with my cousin Earl who has osteosarcoma and they had a great time. Jeff thinks that it will be good for me to go and meet some other people going through this. I am hoping that I come back re-energized and ready for the next round of my fight. I still havn't heard from the thoracic surgeon so surgery won't be scheduled for a while. These days I feel like I'm on a rollar coaster with all the ups and downs. The ups are what I live for and I get through the downs.

I am just so thankful to have the time here that has been given to me. This is the greatest gift there is. Time.......

Happy Mother's Day!

Finally a good day! The sun is shining and it just so happens that I am starting to feel better. It's funny how that works. Sunshine seems to make everything seem to be OK. We've spent the last few days trying to process what we learned on Wednesday and so we're feeling a lot better about things now. This treatment has been taking a lot out of me but I concentrate and live for the good days like today! There are a couple of melanoma stories that I've heard lately which give me new hope. I love to hear the positive outcomes that do happen. I was reading in the paper this past week about the new bill that they are trying to put through about tanning beds. Minors will need permission from a parent before using them and they are making the warning labels clearer and easier to read. Awesome! I never did use tanning beds but I know so many people who do. Hopefully this new bill will help decrease the numbers of people getting melanoma and other skin cancers. We all need to cover up this summer and protect ourselves and our children.

I hope that everyone enjoys their Mother's Day tomorrow! Give your little ones extra hugs and kisses and cherish every moment with them. I know I will be!

Happy Mother's Day!

News....

Ok, so we didn't get the best news at the doctor today but we're still staying positive. The lung CT I had a few weeks ago shows that the nodule in my right lung has grown and so they suspect that it is cancer. This means I'll be referred to a thoracic surgeon to discuss surgery. Not exactly what we wanted to hear but it could be worse - it could always be worse. The good news is that my brain MRI showed no progression of disease so this is awesome!! This means that the gamma knife surgery worked and now I go back in 3 months for another follow up MRI. We're happy about this.

This is just another obstacle for me to overcome and I'm so thankful that I have so much love and support to get me through this. It sounds like I will be able to continue on with the treatments that I am still taking until surgery and then I will have to break for a couple of weeks before starting up again. We're still hoping that the Interferon will work and stop any further growth in my body.

On a positive note, I went out with my sisters Sunday night to a play/musical here in town. We had a fabulous time and really enjoyed the production. I love just spending time with my two best friends. We laughed alot and it was so nice to have a break from everything.

We got our pictures and they turned out beautiful. Our family won a photo contest just after I was diagnosed and so the photographer came out to our house this winter and took a bunch of shots. My favorite was a shot of all of us piled up in the snow - everyone smiling. Jeff's friend from school entered us in this contest and they liked our story so much that they picked our family. The photos turned out beautiful and we received $1000 worth of them. Thanks Peekaboo Studio Photography! These photos really mean a lot to us. I was saying to Jeff "Wow! I don't look sick and you don't look stressed! She did a great job!"